So I'm going to see The Bourne Legacy

Tomorrow, with the mother, Maz. Come on, don't tell me you weren't expecting this.

Before I go, however, I am posting some predictions because I want to see how my prehatred preconception matches up with the real thing:


1. This film should have been called The Bourne Superfluous/Redundancy because, you know, it is totally redundant and mercenary, which is just really depressing and undermines what went before it.

2. Although the absence of Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass will be sorely felt, I am much happier that they had the integrity to stay true to the story and walk away at the right time. You know like, when the STORY WAS FINISHED. Ahem.

3. Aaron Cross is a really shit name for a protagonist, though not quite as bad as Big Bad Bry Mills. There will possibly be some symbolism about air instead of water (the Bond-esque helicopter scene glimpsed in the trailer?) and/or being caught in the crosshairs. Deep.

4. Jeremy Renner will give a really great performance but his character will talk too much and I will spend the whole movie internally admonishing 'Oh Bourne wouldn't have done that...'

5. Rachel Weisz, while wonderful, is too recognizable a movie star to blend in and will demolish my suspension of disbelief. I will also find it weird that she is married to Daniel Craig and is therefore fraternizing/franchising (fraterchising?) with the enemy.

6. At 135 mins (!!!) the movie is too long. None of the original trilogy were over two hours. KEEP IT LEAN PEOPLE. I know, I can talk, right?

7. No one will ever be as awesome as Joan Allen/Pam Landy, not even the clips of her from previous movies they shoehorn in, and the missing rivalry between her and Vosen will be like a big black hole at the centre of the movie. Also: special mentions to Nicky Parsons and Marie Kreutz who are/were also awesome.

8. I will be extremely vexed and indignant when if they so much as suggest this new guy is a bigger threat than Jason Bourne, because not only is that BULLSHIT, it's also shitting on the franchise that gave this movie the means to exist in the first place. I may even be so angry I will shout vociferously at the screen and shake my fist.

9. This movie will essentially give the Bond movies a blowjob and hand over the baton of Most Influential Action Movies of the 21st Century, instead of the other way around. This may also open up a wormhole in the space-time continuum, I'm not quite sure yet.

10. Aaron Cross will be a superhuman pumped up on steroids and consequently won't be as involving or sympathetic as Bourne who was a perfect conflict of highly trained assassin/sociopath and very emotionally vulnerable human.

11. If they use John Powell's score or Moby's Extreme Ways I will have a hissy fit right there in my seat.

12. I will be mildly entertained but not moved to produce fervent outpourings and/or rants of epic proportion ("yayyy!"). This will please me because although I don't want this movie to be awful (contrary to popular belief, I do actually have a heart), I also don't want it to be elevated to massive resounding success by standing on the shoulders of one of the most well-realized trilogies in movie history...in my humble opinion.

13. Since it wasn't part of Robert Ludlum's original trilogy of books which I believe provided the integral spine and heart of the films, The Bourne Legacy will have none of the political/international depth, intelligence or resonance. This will also make me happy because in my mind the original trilogy will remain untouched by the new spin-off and I can say 'Ahhhh :)' which is always nice.



Hopefully I'll have time to post my actual thoughts tomorrow before life gets busy again at night.

Peace n jam and an open mind, x